Posted by
GeorgeBruno on Saturday, November 15, 2008 9:41:28 AM
Whatever happened to the pipe?
You know...the smoking pipe.
The pipe was the ultimate manly accessory.
The pipe was different.
It was a guy thing.
Pipes demand respect. Kids didnt steal their dads pipes, they stole their cigarettes. Cigarettes got the rep of being the icon of rebellion and counter-culture.
Pipes had a totally different reputation.
If you had a pipe, you were intellectual. You were a thinker. You were not impulsive.
It's almost as if when asked a question, that you consulted your pipe.
It helped you bluff for a minute while you came up with an answer.
On top of that, it helped you illustrate your answer.
You gestured with it and it impressed everyone.
The coolest thing about the pipe was that it didnt even have to be filled with tobacco or even lit to be cool.
Just having a pipe in your hand while you were talking automatically increased your IQ about 25 points...or seemed to.
If you had a pipe and a beard, you were infallible. The was the ultimate combo.
No wait, a beard, a pipe, and a tweed sport coat.
You couldnt hurry a pipe. Nobody ran out for a quick smoke. If you didnt have 20 minutes to commit, you didnt go out.
Pipes made men slow down a little, think and ponder about life, work, wives, children, the state of the world.
Pipes were cool.
It was the only accessory...that had it's own accesories.
You had your pipe tool. The very masculine folding thing that was a combo of tamper and pipe hole clearer. Kind of the intellectual mans version of a jacknife. If you had a pocket knife and the pipe tool, you were the master.
You had your supply of pipe cleaners, now mostly sold in Michaels Crafts Center for sunday school crafts.
You had your pouches of various tobaccos. You had to have Cherry or you were not a real pipe guy.
You had your special lighters. Not Zippos. No way. That lighter fluid tainted your tobacco. You had to use a wooden kitchen match or butane lighter.
Pipes are bridge builders.
Nobody avoids you because you smoke a pipe....not like cigars or cigarettes.
You dont even have to inhale to enjoy it. What's not to like?
You cant just pick up a pipe and smoke it like cigars and cigarettes. There is a learning curve. It's best when taught by an experienced pipe guy.
People hate the smell of cigars and cigarettes. But even the most militant anti-smoking people like the smell of a pipe.
Women like the smell of a pipe and always told you so. Maybe it reminded them of their Dad or something.
Pipes make you a better dad. You talk to your kids easier when you have a pipe in yor hand. It doesnt even have to be lit and they always hug you and say "That was swell, Dad"
When people think of their fathers, they always remember his pipe.
Pipes were unique and accepted in society.
Even some famous theologians and ministers smoked pipes. For some reason, it didnt seem as evil as cigarettes.
I never wanted to hang out with people smoking cigarettes. If you hung out with pipe smokers, you became vicariously smarter. The coolness and smartness rubbed off on anyone within 10 feet.
Men even had their portraits taken with their pipes. Think about it....No other accessory made it into portaits.
Pipes were work. Pipes had to be filled, tamped, coaxed to lite, nurtured, cleaned, rotated weekly.
In Hollywood, the pipe was a prop that made any man on film seem smarter.
Sherlock Holmes had a pipe.
Santa Claus had a pipe.
Native Americans had pipes. Pipes were associated with peace. Men talking about peace. You went to your enemy and he offered you a smoke on the pipe and everything was OK.
Charles Spurgeon had a pipe.
Hobbits smoked pipes.
General MacArthur loved his pipe. It made him a great general.
Popeye had a pipe. I want to let you in on something....It was the pipe, not the spinach.
Einstein loved his pipe.
Bing Crosby and his pipe were inseparable.
Fred MacMurray, the ultimate Dad, had a pipe.
See any trends here?
Pipes and cool hats go hand in hand too. Military hats, fedoras, detective hats and tweed caps.
You just cant wear a baseball cap backwards and smoke a pipe.
If world leaders all smoked pipes, the world may very well be a different place.
We love old pictures of men with beards and pipes. Better yet....old pictures of old men...smoking pipes
I love this pic.
The world just exploded.
World War III started.
The anti-christ just revealed himself...but that's OK, they have their pipes.
Chicks dig pipes.
See the way she is looking at him?
Pipe appeal, baby.
Gay guys liked pipes.
Pipes span gender, race, and...um...sexuality
Smart men smoked pipes.
Women love smart men.
Dont believe me?
This ad from the 50's is proof.
What the heck was this ad all about?
Poolboy?
Um....OK.
The Svengali nature of the pipe.
This is no ordinary pipe tobacco.
It is blended from 18 tobaccos.
How can it fail?
Where did masculinity go?
It left with the pipe....Sigh.
Bring back the pipe and bring back the man.